it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
