my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
