im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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