I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
