so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
