i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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