im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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