So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
