Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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