i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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