I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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