You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
