"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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