ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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