we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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