You're completely useless in the revolution.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
