Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
