My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
