i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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