I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
