Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
