you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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