I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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