Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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