My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
