your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
