i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
