i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
