nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
