i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
