Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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