we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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