This girl is more easily done than said...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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