ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
