Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
