Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
