no you cant smoke seaweed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
