That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I need a beard to bite.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
