sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
