I love black thongs
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
