it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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