a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
