Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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