yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
