also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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