Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
