Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
