Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
