i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it hurts more in the daytime
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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