hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
